It was around the end of August as Nolwazi had just woken up. She took her phone and there was an sms from her uncle “Hi Lwaz I hope you extracted that tooth. How are you feeling? Your uncle here might be coming up with flu” She replied “Hi malume, I suggest the uncle just goes to a dr and get antibiotics. I took out the tooth day before yesterday and I feel much better now. Much love…”. Lwazi and her uncle were pretty close. She never knew her dad and her uncle (mother’s brother) was more like a father to her since she grew up with her mother’s family. She and her uncle loved each other so much.
Whenever she went home from her work in Durban she would make sure that she spent some days at her uncle’s house and catch up on. That September around school holidays her uncle had plans to do a 1st birthday party for his first born daughter. Nolwazi was determined to go to this party. A week before the 10 days September school holidays Lwazi took her two weeks leave and went to see her mom. It was on a Monday and the party was going to be on Saturday. That Monday she called her uncle and told her she was around and was going to come to the party on the weekend.
Uncle told her that he was not feeling great. The flu from the previous two weeks hadn’t cleared up. But he had seen a dr and hopefully will be okay by the weekend. On Wednesday when she was still asleep in her room her mom came to her bedroom. “Lwaz, I just got a call from my mom” her mother said. “Oh great, what is grandma saying?’ Lwazi asked excitedly, but she realized that her mom did not look excited. “mama what’s the matter? What did grandma say?” She asked worried. “My mom said we should go to kwaSandile (her uncle’s name), today”. Her mom said. “Why? The party is only this weekend mos?” Lwazi asked.
“I don’t know mntanam. Let us just go.” Lwazi now got worried, her mind raced to possible reasons why they would be called to her uncle’s house without any reason. She feared the worst, she thought maybe her uncle got worse with flu and was rushed to hospital. But why would they not tell them that? This was just scary and she forced herself not to think about it. Her mom had left the room and she was left alone. She then went to her mom in the kitchem “Mama andiyi kwaMalume mna (I am not going to my uncle’s)” She said softly to her mom.
“Why child?” her mom asked. “Why are they not telling us what happened? What are they hiding? Mama wena you go there and call me and tell me what’s up. If I am needed then I will come” She said to her mom feeling a lump in her throat. “No we have to go, both of us. That is what my mom said” “Well I’ll call grandma and tell her I can’t come!!!” She said already dialling on her phone. Her mom took away her phone. “You will do no such thing. Siyahamba (we are going)” after a lot of talking and begging she finally agreed to go.
On the way she was praying with all of her heart that maybe there is some sort of a nice surprise her grandma had, even though she knew the chances of that were Zero. “if bad then please let it be that Malume has been rushed to hospital” She thought as the taxi was getting closer to their destination. Finally they got there. When you come from the gate at her uncle’s house the door that you see is the sitting room door. The other door which was the kitchen was at the back. Her malumekazi (uncle’s wife) rarely ever opened the sitting room door. They always used the back door. However this door was opened, wide open on this particular day.
Her mom went straight to this door. Nolwazi did not look at who was inside or what was happening inside. She just went around to the back door. In the kitchen she found the lady who was the helper. She was preparing tea “can I help with that?” She asked. And before she got an answer she was called by her grandmother’s voice in the sitting room. She did not want to go in there! She did not want to see who was there and what were they doing. So she did not answer her grandma’s call. “Nolwazi yizapha (come here)” called out her grandma. “I am making tea” she said! It was a small house and the sitting room and the kitchen were adjacent, so no one was necessarily using a shouting voice.
Her mother came and fetched her. They went to the sitting room. By the corner she saw her Malumekazi sitting there covered in a small blanket. She did not want to think about that, she stopped looking immediately and went straight to her grandma who was sitting on the couch. She did not look around the room anymore to see who else was there. “Uright?” grandma asked with a faint smile “yes I am fine makhulu” she said, unable to return a smile and she looked down. Grandma tried some small talk with her but Lwazi was just not there. Finally makhulu said “Do you knowwhy you were called here?”. “Hayi” she said in a strong voice and she stood up and left without saying anything else or hear what her grandma had to say.
She knew what had happened. The worst that she had prayed so hard for it not to happen was indeed real. How could this happen? Why would her uncle leave her like that? How could he just hide and not even give her a chance to say good bye? And why did God let it happen? What did God have against her family? Her uncle was still very young, in his mid 30’s. He had only one child who was a girl and about to be a year old. In Nolwazi’s family from her mother’s side Malume was the only man of the family. With him gone it meant they were left with no manly figure. Just why did malume and God let that happen.
Instead of feeling sad she felt angry! She was angry at God, she was angry at her uncle!! He should have fought death! You can not just let a stupid flu kill you! That is stupid, idiotic, selfish and just… Just!!! Why? Why Why? She was not even insde the house but was outside behind the house and tears were streaming down her face uncontrollably. She was angry and was not sure if she will ever forgive God or her uncle for what had happened. There was just no excuse!! “Everything happens for a reason my foot! What the hell was the reason for my uncle to die? To hurt her family? How is that a good reason? If I ever got married who would take my lobola? Who would give my hand in marriage?” She was thinking about her young 1 year old cousin who will never know her father. How was that a good reason? Just what exactly is this “so called plan” that they always say God has?
she did not see any bright future, she felt like her family was cursed. Now all the men who were relatives would be coming to her home and assuming the fatherly position whenever it suited them and her grandmother would not have much to say because she was never married to her grandfather. This is why she was not in the moaning corner with malumekazi.
She sat there crying for a long time then finally she decided to stand up and see what she could help with. She could not bring herself into helping. So she spoke to her mom and asked if she could go back to her home and fetch their clothes. She wanted to get away from that place because every time people would come and comfort the family and she just felt like punching each and everyone of those comforters in the face. She did not know why she felt like this. All she knew was that she did not want to hear anyone talking about her uncle being dead!!