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Episode 35
After the call Thuli thought for a while. What she had done was to make a commitment; she had put a date for the deed that she had to do and she had even told Bonga about it. She felt that she really had to go ahead and just do what she had to do. The Monday came and the week went on as usual. Bonga kept calling her and sometimes would ask about the upcoming weekend. Thuli was still telling him that she was not sure she would have enough time on Saturday to go see him, but she would visit him if there was time.
On Wednesday around 8:00 evening Thuli’s phone rang
Thuli: Hello
Voice: Hello beautiful, how are you?
Thuli: I’m okay, may I ask who I am talking to?
Voice: This is Mtheza beautiful, you have forgotten me so soon?
Thuli: Oh Mr Vaphi, no, not that I forgot, I do not have your number sir.
Vaphi: Whow that has to change baby girl. You should have my number. Anyway how did that Maths test you had to write today go? (Over the weekend when they were talking she told him they had a test on Wednesday)
Thuli: I wrote well, thank you
Vaphi: I am sure, you are a smart girl, you should know though, I myself am a Maths teacher, and I was really good in Maths back in my day, when you have problems you must never be shy to contact me. Okay?
Thuli: Yes sir
Vaphi: hahaha Thuli, you can call me Mtheza, “Sir” is only for when I am at school.
Thuli: (silence)
Vaphi: When are you writing Maths again?
Thuli: We write Maths test every second Wednesday, s…
Vaphi: In that case I must remember to get you airtime so you can call me if you need any help.
Thuli: Yes sir.
Vaphi: Hahahaha I give up on you… Good bye and sleep tight.
The call ended and Thuli put her phone down, she was not sure what to think. On the top of her head she though mr Vaphi was a nice teacher, and maybe he was not so comfortable with being called “sir” in a social call. But Thuli could not help it, she was not going to call an older man by his name, even if it was his nickname. She had learned that a lot of male teachers were addressed by their nicknames by students, eg Fosi, Spiderman, Waga, LB, etc. But she was still not comfy with it.
Anyway she got an sms from Mtheza on that same night a few minutes after the call “You have a face of an angel, your voice just proves that you are really an angel. Here are the airtime numbers 2310-4***-****-**52, you can use it to call your friends. Sleep tight”. Thuli just looked at the sms and decided she would load the airtime the following day. She did not think much about what was in the sms. At that moment she just decided to have an early night.
The weekend came and Thuli prepared to go to Mt Ayllif(sp :p ) town to seek some information about her father. She still knew the furniture shop that her mom said Thami used to work in. She got on the taxi and went to town.
She arrived at the furniture shop, it was mid month so not a lot of people were in the shop, just the sales people. She greeted, and they looked at her strangely because she was a child and they must have been wondering what she could be doing in there. “How can we help you?” on of the sales people asked. Only when they asked her that question did Thuli realise that she had not thought about what she was going to say. “Ehm, I am looking for a man by the name of Thamsanqa Ntuli who was working here some years ago”
The two sales people looked at each other as if thinking. One of them asked “When exactly was that Thamsanqa working here?” “My mom.… He was working here somewhere around 2000 or 2001” she replied doubtfully. She was then regretting her decision to had been there. She should have tried other means, then it looked like she was going to embarrass herself. “That was a long time ago” one of the sales people who seemed younger said. The older one was quite. “Thamsanqa Ntuli?” the older one said as if thinking hard. “That is the name of our manager, but he started working on this branch in 2004. However I remember that name before our manager, I think he was working here when I first started but he resigned shortly after I started. What do you want from the guy? Maybe he is the one that is the manager, do you know what he looks like?”. At hearing these words Thuli was filled with hope, however she did not know what Thami looked like.
“I.. I… I am just looking for him, there is something big that he needs to know, but I lost contact of him. Any help would be appreciated.” Thuli said. “Let’s take you to the manager. Just tell him everything, maybe he can help you” They took her to the office of the manager and just left her with the manager guy without filling the manager in on what she wanted.
Episode 36
“Hello young girl, how may I help you?” The man behind the desk asked Thuli who was standing by the office door. “Come on in, have a seat” he said pointing to a seat. Thuli went to the seat while fixing her eyes on the man. He seemed to be somewhere in his 30’s, maybe late or mid 30’s, he was white in complexion and his body was neither slim nor fat. She decided immediately that it could not be Thami her father because Thami was dark in complexion, according to Nomsa.
“My name is Thulisile, I am looking for a guy called Thamsanqa Ntuli.” She said shyly, she was hoping that whatever she said did not send a threatening message. “I am Thamsanqa Ntuli, how can I help you? Do you want to open an account with us?” Thamsanqa asked. Thuli became extremely shy like she never was before, as a result she could not project her voice and spoke really soft. Besides she had no idea what to say then, she was not sure if this guy was her father, but how was she to find if he was not. “I, I.. Do you know a lady from Mzimkhulu named Nomsa?” she said almost under her breath. The guy did not seem to have heard her properly.
“Nomsa? Are you saying something about Nomsa? Does she have an account with us?” Thuli kept quite, she really was speechless, she wanted the ground to open right there and swallow her. She decided to just man up and do what she came there to do. The guy continued talking while she was quite, he was explaining what kind of an account Thuli could get since she was just a child. Thuli did not really hear what the guy was saying. After some time she swallowed a spit and decided to just do it! It did not matter the outcome, she was going to be embarrassed but then again she was never gonna go to that shop again.
“I do not want to open an account. My name is Thulisile Mjilo. I know a lady called Nomsa Mjilo who is my older sisiter.” Thuli was speaking clearly now using all the energy within her. She continued “Nomsa is looking for a guy called Thamsanqa Mjilo because there is an important message for him, so I am helping her trace the guy. I was wondering if you were not that Thamsanqa Mjilo because last time she checked Thamsanqa was working in this very shop.” She stopped and took a deep breath while waiting for the response.
The guy looked surprised and had his eyes opened wide. “No, I do not know that Nomsa, not at all. I am Thamsanqa Ntuli but I have never been to Mzimkhulu. I do not think I can help you young lady. Unless if you want to open an account, we do have a “smart credit account” promotion where by school children can buy things like irons or kettles on credit and pay….” Thuli interrupted the manager at that point. “It is okay, I was not really looking for an account, I will be on my way now. Thank you so much for your patience.” She said as she stood up.
After she was out the door she forgot that she also wanted to ask for contact details if they had them, but there was no way she was going back in there. She was so embarrassed and felt so stupid. She wanted to die at that instant. When she was about the door the sales people she had seen before talked to her. “Hey young girl, how did it go?” Thuli looked at them and tried to show some respect. “Good. Thanks for your help”. She did not want to embarrass herself any further. She was so out of there! As soon as she was out the door she walked fast to the taxi rank. She did not want those people to see her again.
She was supposed to take a taxi to Bizana that would drop her very close to where she stayed but the taxi was empty and not about to get full any time soon. She looked at the taxi to Kokstad and saw that it was short with 2 people. If using that taxi she would have to get off at Phakade (the branch I talked about in the previous episode.) and take another taxi that would drop her at Phepheni . She got on the Kostad taxi and in no time it was full.
The time was after 12 just before 1, she got an sms from Bonga “hey Thuli, I hope everything will go well for you today”. After reading this sms she remembered that she had promised Bonga to pay him a visit if there was still time. She had comp[lately forgotten, and of cause there was still time, but did she want to see Bonga? She was feeling like a paper that had been dipped in water. “Bonga might cheer me up” she thought. She decided to get off at Bonga’s area then since it was on her route. “I am coming from Nteli (Mt Ayllf in Xhosa) right now, please wait for me at the stop in about 15 minutes.”
Episode 37
Along the way to Bonga’s area Thuli was thinking of what would happen there. She was used to spending time with Bonga ever since they were kids. But that was before she realised that she had a crush on him. It would be the first time that day spending time with him after admitting to herself of the crush. She wondered if Bonga saw her as a girlfriend girl or just a friend/sister. Thuli had never had a boyfriend whatsoever and there fore had no experience of anything. She never even paid attention when other girls talked about boys because she was never really interested. But that was before she had a crush.
She got off the taxi and looked around for a second. She saw Bonga standing across the street. He saw her too and waved for her to cross the street. Thuli crossed the street and said hi to Bonga, since they got to high school they had developed a greeting with hug, something they did not do when they were growing up. Okay Bonga also had a bigger body and was taller than Thuli, he was 15 while she was 16, they both looked older than their actual ages…
They walked to where Bonga was saying, he was also renting(sort of) and he was not sharing. The yard only had one room (a hut) and belonged to some one who was not living there. That person was sort of related to Bonga or a family friend so the families agreed that Bonga should stay in that hut. He got his own groceries of cause and used the furniture that he found there. As far as Thuli knew, Bonga did have girlfriends even though she did not know any of them and did not know if Bonga was serious with any of those girls. Bonga and Thuli hadd always been friends and always spoke about everything.
When they got there Bonga had a small radio. He played it and the two of them talked about general stuff. “So how did you go at Nteli?” Bonga asked. “Mxm eish, I don’t want to talk about it Bonga, it went terrible” Thuli responded. “I am sorry girl, but I am sure things will work out eventually. I also should start searching. I sometimes wish I had your courage. You are a very strong person Thuli” Bonga said to Thuli trying to comfort her. Thuli just said nothing. She really did not want to talk about what happened. She was still feeling very embarrassed.
How could she make such a fool of herself? Those people from that shop would probably think she was some sort of a freak. Maybe they think she wanted that man for some dangerous reasons, whenever she thought about what happened at Nteli she felt like banging her head on the wall! Bonga got the message and stopped talking about it.
“You look really beautiful in that top, you see? I have taste” Bonga said teasingly. “hahahaha Bonga, that is because I chose it myself, I am sure you would have bought me a boys shirt if you were by yourself.” Thuli said laughing. “Shhhhhh sukhwaza, uzondikhupha ebantwini (don’t be loud *lost in translation, direct translation is “don’t take me out of the people”, kwaaaaa, but it is something about not wanting to be embarrassed*). I am trying to collect points here”. Bonga said poking Thuli on the shoulder. “hahahahahah with lies? Hay suka” so the two of them were laughing of for that time Thuli forgot about her bad day.
“I miss your cooking, you should cook for me before you leave” Bonga said. Thuli was a great cook, took it from her mother, Nomsa. They both were good in cooking. Thuli enjoyed cooking for people and when they were living in Mzimkhulu back at their home Bonga would go to mam Lindi’s house on weekends when Thuli was visiting (remember they were then living with Nomzi, so on some weekends Thuli would visit mam Lindi, mam Lindi was always impressed with Thuli’s cooking because she (mam Lindi) wasn’t so great at that.) Thuli agreed to cook for Bonga and they went to the nearest shop to get some vegies.
When she was back they started talking while Thuli was cooking. By the way the time was already past 4. Thuli always had stories to tell and she talked too much. Bonga was not quite either, so time went by really fast. Before they knew it, it was past 5 o’clock. Thuli was just finishing up her cooking. “It’s Saturday today, if I go too late I may not find taxis.” She said. “Ah come on, don’t tell me you want to leave before you eat your own food, how will I know if you did not put any poison in there?” Bonga said jokingly. Thuli did not really feel like leaving. She was alone at her room because her room mate had gone home for the weekend. If she went to her room she was gona be bored and start thinking about Thamsanqa and what happened that day. She did not want that, but she did not really have a choice, it was getting late.
“Okay, I am going to stay and eat, but I need to go right after I finish, okay?” Bonga was cool with that. He dished out the food and the 2 of them ate. When they were done then they went to the stop to get a taxi for Thuli. They were not walking fast and were playing along the way. Surely people who saw them thought they were a couple, not that they had a problem with that. The 2 of them were used to being called a couple and over the years they had learned to ignore it.
They got to the taxi stop just before 6 and waited for the taxi. It was Saturday so taxis were really scarce. Thuli did not want to get lift from trucks, she said she rather wait for a taxi. They stood there for a long time and it was getting dark “Thuli you can not go to Phakade at this time, you know it is not safe.” Bonga pointed out what they both knew. “What am I going to do then?” Thuli asked worriedly. “Well I do have extra blankets at my place. You do not have a choice Thuli, you need to go back to my place. I am not letting you go to Phakade at this time.”
Episode 38
“I guess I do not have a choice neh?” Thuli asked. “No, you don’t. You know the stories that happen at Phakade, I will not let you be part of that, no ways”. There were lot of stories about Phakade, people getting robbed, killed, raped, etc. It was horrible, no one wanted to be caught in Phakade after the sun sets, everyone knew that, even Thuli. So she agreed to go sleep at Bonga’s place.
Now this would not be the first time she would spend a night with Bonga, when they were kids Bonga’s granny would go away to a convention on Saturday to come back the following day. Bonga always told granny that his friend Thuli and her brother Ndudu would come and sleep with him. That would be the case. They would all sleep in the same room; Thuli would sleep in a different bed though while the boys would be in another. So it would not be something entirely new, the only difference is then they were older and well Thuli was having a crush.
They walked back to Bonga’s place; they were walking fast because it was already getting dark. They got there and just chilled the way they were during the day.
Thuli remembered that her mastandi (landlord) always got worried when the girls were not at the 8pm prayer. So she called her and explained that she was not coming back that night. The landlord shouted at her that she(Thuli) had found a boy and was starting to be naughty. While Thuli tried to explain, the old woman went on about how she (mastandi) was going to tell Sanele and Nomsa because they had trusted her (mastandi) to protect Thuli from boys. And she can see that Thuli was a naughty child. Well Thuli knew better than to argue with an old woman. It was not like she could prove to her mastandi that she was not with a boy, after all she was really with a boy. When the old woman finished shouting Thuli hung up the phone.
She got worried a little that mastandi would tell her malume, but Bonga reminded her that she(Thuli) was with him (Bonga). Thuli’s family knew Bonga and that he was Thuli’s friend. Thuli then was not worried anymore. So they got back to their talking.
They were reminding each other of when they were kids and how they would tell each other tales when they were doing the sleep overs. They were laughing really hard, it was so much fun. They both admitted that they missed all the time they used to spend with each other from primary till junior. They talked and talked and some how the conversation shifted to relationships.
At that time they were both on their respective beds. Bonga had made a bed on the floor using extra blankets and he let Thuli sleep on the bed. He borrowed her one of his t-shirts to sleep with. “No I still don’t want a boyfriend. It is not easy for me to trust a guy, for some reason.” Thuli said answering Bonga who was asking if she was still on the no boyfriend campaign. “That is strange Thuli, people who normally feel like that are people who had already been hurt. I do not think you have been hurt.” Bonga replied.
Bonga was sort of sitting up on his floor bed while leaning on the actual bed with his face turned to look at Thuli. Thuli was sleeping with only her head showing and she was facing Bonga as well I don’t know too, shame; but boys scare me” while Thuli said that a little voice inside her said “I do not ever want to end up like my mother”. She wondered where that came from, she really did not get it. She however let it slide and just spoke to Bonga who was an absolute delight right in front of her. She wondered what exactly made her to like him so much after knowing him for such a long time.
“Do you hear what I am saying?” Bonga asked poking Thuli over the blankets, Thuli had been totally lost in her thoughts while Bonga was talking. “mmm? Sorry, I did not get that. What were you saying?” She replied sounding like someone who just woke up from daydreaming. “Where the hell are you, your body is here with me but your mind is on the other side. You know that song? What were you thinking about?” Bonga asked. Thuli was not about to tell him what she was thinking. “Nothing much, was just thinking about today.
“Bonga do you think I am a girlfriend material? I mean do you think a guy could just want me as a girlfriend and not hurt me? She asked randomly. “Ye Thuli remember when I first came to Mvubukazi and you were the only person I could actually talk to?” Bonga asked her. “Aha” Thuli said as she thought back thinking she knew exactly where that was going. “You remember, hehe, I said to you I wanted you to be my girlfriend and you said you are not a girlfriend and you told me if I wanted to hang with you I should stop that nonsense?” Thuli rememberd and felt shy for ever saying those kind of things. She consoled herself by saying she was just a kid and well it’s not like they were going to be in some relationship at that age. So she did not answer but just nodded while avoiding the eye contact.
“That was what I did, well I was just a kid then , hahaha, did not even know what I was saying. It just felt like a right thing to say at that time. I told myself I was going to propose you again when we got older. But we became close friends, closer and closer until I realised that I had no chance. Plus you hate boyfriends. I like you a lot, still would not mind if you would be my girlfriend. But I am not asking you to, I know your stories and boys. Neh? To answer you then, yes you could make a good girl friend to some lucky bustard.”
Thuli smiled, “be my boyfriend then.” She said that then looked to the other side and covered herself with blankets, “what did you just say?” Bonga asked and Thuli said nothing, still under the blanket…. After a few moments with Bonga on the bed shaking Thuli to remove blankets over her face and Thuli was resisting. It was some sort of fun wrestling as the two of them were laughing. However Thuli was not repeating what she had just said so after a few minutes Bonga gave up and said good night.
I can do without
Episode 39
Thuli felt silly after that as she was pretending to be asleep after Bonga said good night. But she felt easy because Bonga had said he would love her as a girlfriend. But that did not help the silliness in what she had just did. She wondered what would happen in the morning, will Bonga then become her boyfriend? How would that affect their friendship? She imagined that Bonga would be the greatest boyfriend ever because they knew each other and had been sort of best friends from since they were children. Finally she fell asleep.
In the morning she woke up to find Bonga already up. But he was playing a game in his phone while he was still in his floor bed. “Morning” Thuli said while rubbing her eyes. “Hello, yhey! You must never visit me again if I would have to sleep on the floor. My whole body hurts” he said teasingly. “Uzoba yindoda wethu (you will be a man)” Thuli said to him. They exchanged amaqam (small talk) for a few minutes and Bonga jumped on the bed because he said sleeping on the floor was hurting him. Thuli did not mind that. So Bonga who was dressed in only a track pant got in the bed as well. But he made sure not to get too close, to Thuli’s surprised. But she did not mind. She had no idea what was going through his mind.
“Thuli are you going to continue looking for your father?” Bonga asked. “I don’t know Bonga, after what happened yesterday man, I am losing hope. Tracking down a person with insufficient information is not easy. I thought I could do it now that I am older but I think I bit way more than I can chew.” Thuli said sadly. “I’m sorry girl. Things will work out eventually, maybe we should be on a mission together to look for our dads. It would be easier if we helped each other”
“Bonga, the only thing my mom knew about that the guy who is my father is that he used to work at a furniture shop in Nteli, that is all she could tell me. Can you believe it? And for some stupid reason in that shop there are two guys who have ever worked there with the same name as my father! I had no idea that the name Thamsanqa Ntuli was so common in Nteli” Thuli said, she almost had tears in her eyes as the memories of yesterday were coming back to her. “What about Thamsanqa Ntuli now? What did you want with him?” Bonga asked. Ever since they knew each other and they knew so much about each other Thuli had never blurted out the name of her father to Bonga. “Thamsanqa Ntuli is the guy I am looking for.”
“You mean to tell me Thamsanqa Ntuli is a guy that would help you trace down you r father?
I am having a blonde moment here sorry” Bonga explained as he could tell that Thuli was emotional about the subject and asking too many questions did not seem appropriate. “Thamsanqa Ntuli is my father” Thuli said almost shouting. Bonga kept quite, he did not say anything. He just looked at Thuli in disbelief, then he had a blank look in his eyes and face and did not show any emotion, as if he had fainted.
“Bonga? What’s up? Are you okay?” Thuli said to Bonga while wiping the tears that were starting to fall from her eyes. Bonga however did not answer, he just laid there emotionless nd motionless. He was not moving at all. Thuli started to shake him “Bonga!” “No I’m fine” he said softly. “Then what is wrong? Do you know a Thamsanqa Ntuli? Do you know my father?” Thuli asked.
Instead of answering Bonga stood up and went to take some water. He came back but sat on the chair that was there instead of the bed. He drank the water then took a deep breath. Thuli was just looking at him and puzzled. She was wondering what was up. Maybe Bonga knew her father and he was so shocked because her father was some sort of a criminal or something. But she did not say anything, she just laid there on the bed and watched Bonga.
Bonga: Thuli you sure your father is Thamsanqa Ntuli?
Thuli: Yes
Bonga: From Nteli?
Thuli: yes, but it seems to be a common name around here.
Bonga: Good point, what else do you know about him?
Thuli: Nothing much, I just know that he met my mom when my mom was studying at Umzimkhulu teachers college back in 1989.
Bonga: Yhoooo, hehehehehe, mhmhmh. Ye Thuli… Do you know my mother?
Thuli: Not really, I have seen her once or twice when she would visit your home.
Bonga: In 1989 my mother was a student nurse at Embizweni hospital. Hehehehehe. (Bonga kept quite.)
Thuli wondered why was Bonga telling her all of that. Then it hit her, she remembered when she was 12 and she met her mother in Kostad and Nomsa told her about a girl from mam Lindi’s area who was suspected to have been impregnated by Thami as well… Could it be?… Yhoo, no, no no! “Noooo!” She said getting out of the bed, she kept repeating those words “No, no, hayi, ha a, hayi no!! no” she was going around the room attempting to collect her stuff and get out of there but she did not see any progress in what she was doing. She was just going around in circles! She wanted Bonga to tell her right there that his mother had no connection what so ever with Thami.
She was smart, she could put one and two together; so was Bonga. After Thuli realised she was going around in circles in the room she stood still and put both her hands in her mouth! Tears started rolling from her eyes. How could this be happening to her? Isn’t she meant to have anything good happening in her life? There was a slight chance that maybe it was not what she thought it was, but was there a chance really? Everything just fell in place! As the hands we still in her mouth at tears rolling down her cheeks she shook her head softly but none stop saying “it can’t be”
Episode 40
Bonga also just sat on the chair and was quite. After a few minutes of complete silence Thuli said “I am going to have to go”. Bonga turned his head to look at her; he looked at her for a few seconds without saying anything then he said “maybe we should talk about this thing, and get our facts straight” Thuli was silent too, absorbing what Bonga was saying. Was it a good idea to know for a fact that Bonga was her brother? Wasn’t it better to be uncertain like she was? She really did not want to know the truth. “No, there is nothing to talk about” she said as she was puting on her clothes and taking off Bonga’s tshirt. Bonga wasn’t even looking at her at that time.
She fixed her small handbag that she came with and looked around the room, saw Bonga’s face cloth and she took it, fixed herself some water in the washing basin that was there and she washed her face. “I am going now” she said as she was on her feet with her bag, ready to go.
“Thuli we should talk about this, even if it’s later. You can’t just go out of here like that as if we are fighting.” Bonga said calmly as he was getting on his feet as well. Thuli thought what he said did make some sense. But she had had enough the previous day, she was not ready for more stressful situations. “Okay Bonga, maybe we will talk some other time, for now I just need to go”
Bonga accompanied her to the taxi and they were quite on the way, each one of them buried in their thoughts. Luckily a taxi came to the stop within a minute after they got there; they waved goodbye and Thuli went away. In the taxi she was thinking that she must be having the most miserable life ever.
First she grew up without her mother and had never met her father, but gogo was raising her. Gogo died and she was left in the care of mam Lindi, who might have been great but there was her mother (Nomsa) who was always there to ruin things. Thuli thought their life would be better when her mother would be done with school and she would finally live with her mother. But even before Nomsa graduated she had already deserted them. Malume got a wife and Thuli thought that was the end of the night, but for some reason that was bad as well as malumekazi always reminded her(Thuli) how much she(Thuli) was not a Mjilo, malumekazi made her to feel lost and she did not belong in anywhere.
She came to Nteli to study and live alone and just have her own life. She had been nothing but good to the society. But for some reason things just kept falling apart in her life! Her whole life has been nothing up to that point but just a puzzle that always breoke and she always had to be mending it. It was terrible. It was almost like she was not meant to be sad and always trying to fix her life nstead of living it; she did not deserve this. She had thought that maybe she could find love, but it turns out the boy she was falling for could be her brother. What the hell else could go wrong?
“My whole life is a mess because of the choices my mother made, why must I suffer just because she made mistakes? Why am I being punished for the things my mother did?” She thought as she felt tears filling her eyes once again. What made her sad was the fact that all these things were happening and it was not even her fault, besides she really was powerless to do anything to fix them. The only thing that was good at that time was to disappear from the whole earth, and come back at a time when she was older and able to take more drastic decisions that would just turn her whole life around. But that was not going to happen. She had no choice but to live her miserable life. She once again resented her mother. But nothing was going to change. Things were the way they were, she just had to suck it up and live with it.
She did not even realise that the taxi went past Phakade, she saw that they were already approaching Kokstad meaning they were waaaaay past Phakade. No worries then, she was just going to take a taxi to Phepheni when she got to Kokstad.
Thuli got to her room and took bath and threw herself on her bed. Her room mate was not coming back until later that day. Why she was asleep, she heard mastandi coming to her room “Vula Thuli,(open up),” mastandi said as she was knocking vigorously on the door. Thuli opend the door for her knowing exactly that she was going to be shouted at. She was soooo not in the mood for that, but what could she do, the old woman could as well just shout and get over it so life could move on. Thuli had more important things in her mind to worry about; being shouted for something she had not done was the least of her problems.
Mastandi indeed shouted that Thuli was loose and she was going to get pregnant and she (mastandi) would have to be blamed for it. “Get this Thuli, no child that has ever lived in this yard had ever gotten pregnant, you are not going to be the first one, you hear me?” “Ewe mama” Thuli said. “You are lucky I have a soft spot for you, I am not going to tell your parents, just make sure this does not happen again, you hear me?” “Ewe mama”. Mastandi left her and Thuli went back to her sleeping.
“Hey sunshine, school is on tomorrow. I am coming there to a meeting with your principal. I need to see you.” That was an sms she got from Mtheza aka mr Vaphi. She wondered what he wanted to see her about, but anyway she drove it to the back of her head and continued thinking about her miserable life until she dozed off!!
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1. When you go from Kokstad to Nteli you go past Phakade which is a branch to Bizana
2. When coming from Phakade to Bizana you go past the Phepheni area which is a Mt Ayllif village
3. From Phepheni to Mzimkhulu, the easier route by taxi is via Kokstad, then Mzimkhulu
4. When going from Kostad to Mthatha you go past Phakade, past Mt Ayllif and you get to Mthatha
Bonga then lives somewhere between Nteli and Phakade, but it is very rare to get a taxi to Bizana from there, you always have to get off at Phakade and get it from there.
I hope it makes sense now.
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Episode 41
Thuli woke up because her room mate came back. The time was 2: PM. She was hungry because she hadn’t eaten anything since the previous night when she was at Bonga’s place. Luckily her roomza came with some food from home and Thuli feasted on that food. For a while she was just talking to her room mate about general stuff and she forgot about her misery.
The day went on and they went to sleep. Thuli cried herself to sleep when she thought about how messed up her life was. She would do anything for her life to be better and be normal like everybody else’s. Seemingly having a boyfriend was definitely not meant for her, otherwise how could you explain that when she finally decided to give a boy a chance she just got the biggest disappointment of a life time. She wondered how things were going to be between her and her friend Bonga after that morning. She was just relieved that she did not do anything with Bonga. She believed that God was really on her side. God did not even give her a chance to call someone who could be her brother by “her boyfriend” she thought.
Anyway the following day came and during the first break Ntombi said “Yhoo my friend, I saw Mtheza’s car parking there by the principal’s office. Do you know about that? Did you see him?” Thuli had completely forgotten about what Vaphi had said in the sms, she only remembered then, however she told Ntombi that she did not know anything. “You are lying, I am sure he would have told you when he was coming here. Yesterday we were chilling at his shop with bro Vusi and he went on about how he likes you. I tell you my friend, that right there is real love.”
Thuli just listened to Ntombi without any interest; she really did not care about Mtheza or whatever love he could be having. She had a lot on her mind and Ntombi was just boring her. “When did you become so loud?” Thuli asked Ntombi in an annoyed voice. “Yhoo why are you so grumpy? Are you okay?” Ntombi asked Thuli. “I’m okay”. Thuli said. She was not about to tell Ntombi anything. Thuli and Ntombi always back chatted most of their classmates and other people they knew. Ntombi was the one who would come with the news most of the time. So Thuli knew that it would be best if Ntombi never knew anything about her (Thuli). “You really don’t look fine girl, I am going to get something to eat, you want anything?” Ntombi asked. “No I’m okay”
Ntombi went away and Thuli opened her phone and played a game. Bonga had not contacted her at all. She also did not feel like talking to him. Thuli wondered how Bonga was feeling. Bonga had his own problems as well, and having Thuli as a possible sister could affect him in a bad way, Thuli thought. “Especially if he was not lying when he said he had feelings for me, yhoo shame”. But what could either of them do? They could just be happy that they found out the possible truth before it was too late.
Thuli did not even see Ntombi who came back with some knickknacks, Ntombi had to poke Thuli’s shoulder. “Hey I am talking to you! I wonder what is eating you today, you are really not the Thuli I know” “Eish sorry man, it’s this game” Thuli said looking at her phone, but she was lying. “You are not playing any game Thuli, your phone is on standbye. I wonder”.
The day went on with Thuli completely out of it, she did not even hear the teachers when they were talking and one of the teachers said “Thuli what is the answer?” Thuli had absolutely no idea what the question was, it was embarrassing. After that embarrassing moment she became attentive, plus it was the last period before lunch break.
During lunch break she got an sms from Mtheza “I am here by the gate, please come see me” Thuli could not say no to that. She rushed to the gate because well that was the right thing to do, when an adults seeks you, you avail yourself. Besides Mtheza was just being a nice teacher. No harm.
“Good day sir” she said shyly, “Yes Thuli, mmm, have you eaten anything? Here, grab something to eat on your way back.” he said giving her R10 note. It reminded her of the time when gogo was in hospital and a friendly teacher gave her money for bread. “Thank you sir”, she said.
“Okay Thuli, this is what I wanted to tell you, the department of education is going to do a celebration for last year’s matric results and award giving. There will also be career guidance for students, std 8, 9 and 10. It will be done in PE. There should be at least two students for each grade from each school. Yes it is the high school programme, but you know how I am always up and down with the department, even though I am a junior secondary teacher, hahahah. Anyway Thuli I want you to be selected as one of the representatives for your grade. I know you are smart and if you work with me on this I am sure you will be selected. Do we have a deal?”
Thuli did not know what to say, that was too much information to absorb in her already over used brain. She just said “Okay”. “Good girl, this will be a great opportunity for you. I have to go back to my school now, I will call you”. Vaphi said sounding like someone who was in a rush. And so he got in his car and waved good bye.
The lunch break was over and Thuli just went back to class. “Nice teacher” she thought absent mindedly as she was trying to recap what Vaphi was saying. She really did not get half of it. But she realised that it was something to do with her future or career, she also remembered something about award. Vaphi was a great teacher indeed.
Episode 42
The school day was over, Thuli was packing her school bag ready to go home “Thulisile Mjilo? Is there a Thulisile Mjilo here?” it was the principal’s voice calling out as he was standing on the door. “Yes sir, that is me” Thuli said looking up at the principal. “Come to my office now” the principal ordered. “Yes sir” she said as she quickly closed the bag and followed the principal to his office.
Along the way she was thinking about what she could have done. Being called to a principal’s office was not a child’s play. She had never been called before and she had never been one on one with Senyukele’s principal. She wondered if she was in any sort of trouble. “Maybe because I was talking to Mr Vaphi during lunch, but that can not be it. Yhooo” She was scared but still followed him. She got into the office a few seconds after the principal.
“Have a seat.” She sat down. “Here is an envelope, it was left for you by Mr Vaphi earlier today, he says he is a family friend and this was a delivery for you from your home”. Thuli was shocked as she knew that Vaphi was no family friend. She was aware that Mr Vaphi lied for some reason. She wondered why. “Okay, thank you sir” she said taking the big envelope from the principal and she was standing up.
Principal: I am not done young girl. Sit down. Why did you hesitate taking the envelope? Do you know Mr Vaphi?
Thuli: Yes sir
Principal: Is he a family friend?
Thuli: *silence*…
Principal: Is he a family friend? *shouting*
Thuli: *in freight* I am not sure sir. My uncle is a teacher at another junior secondary, maybe he(Vaphi) knows him (uncle).
Principal: You said you know him too, where do you know him from?
Thuli: I saw him when he came to school in January to address us.
Principal: Do not lie young girl okay? I hope for your own sake that is true. You girls need to be careful with these teachers. I am your principal and it is my duty to protect you from anything that may lead you astray. My office door is always open if you want to talk about anything. Do you understand?
Thuli: Yes sir.
Principal: You can now go.
Thuli left principal’s office, she was wondering what was in the envelope. She was also very afraid that if Mr Vaphi were to do anything romantic to her and she let him then the principal would find out and she would be in trouble. But she doubted that would ever happen because up to that far Mr Vaphi had shown no signs of wanting anything romantic. “But I can’t be sure until I see what is inside the envelope”. She thought as she was walking alone to her room.
When she got in her room she threw her bag on the bed and opened the envelope. Inside she found some A4 papers, she took them out quickly and realised that they were Mathematics tutorials for grade 10’s. “ncooow!” She thought. She knew that Mr Vaphi could not do anything that would just be wrong. He was just a nice teacher and that was it. He probably lied to the principal because it would be awkward to be giving just one student some tutorials while he was not even a high school teacher and to prove that he was sincere he did not insist on meeting Thuli over the weeknd, probably alone, instead he left the papers at the principal’s office.
So there was no harm in anything. Mr Vaphi just wanted to help Thuli with her mathematics and he must have forgotten to tell her about the tutorials during lunch time because he was in such a hurry… or did he mention anything about them? After all Thuli could not remember half the stuff Vaphi said to her because she was far away with her thoughts when he was talking to her.
As she was taking off her uniform a R10 note fell off her pocket and she remembered that the good teacher (Mtheza) gave it to her to get herself lunch, but she never used it. She remembered that she had not eaten the whole day. She was feeling better anyway and so she started cooking. Her roomza had not returned from school yet, but the 2 of them wear sharing the groceries, so she was cooking for both of them.
Thuli did not even once think about the things that happened over the weekend. She was just lost in her own thoughts about how caring Mr Vaphi was. She wondered if he had children, she was sure that they felt so lucky to have a father like him. Then thinking about that took her back to thinking about what kind of a father would Thami have been. “Not that I care anyway. Thami was the one who got my mother pregnant, why must I be the one searching for him? Searching for an adult who does not even seem to care is a nightmare!” she thought as she was feeling annoyed.
Episode 43
“Thanks for the tutorials, I got them from the principal” Thuli sent the sms to Vaphi, and he responded. “I hope he did not ask any trick question, but I know you are a smart girl. Make good use of those tutorials.” Thuli then continued with her cooking and her roommate came back and commented about her (Thuli) noticeable good mood. Thuli said she was just feeling good for no apparent reason.
“Are you going home next weekend? Can we go together?” said the sms Thuli got the following day from Bonga. That was the week of month end and she was supposed to go home on the weekend like every month. It was the end of March already. She did not respond to Bonga’s sms for some time while she was giving herself some time to think.
Was she ready to see Bonga? He would probably want to talk about Thami and the possibility that he could be their father. At that moment Thuli did not care who Thami was fathering, she knew that all along she had been aware that anyone especially who was younger than her could be her sibling because Nomsa had told her that Thami had many children with different women. And she had accepted that. She had accepted that she would probably never find love since she did not know her roots. There were many chances that anyone could be her sibling.
Because of all these thoughts Thuli no longer felt sad when she thought about her father. She only just wished she could fast forward the time and see how her life would be like after maybe 5 years. But the question still stood. Was she ready to see Bonga? “I will respond later” she said out loud. “You will respond to what later?” Ntombi who was just approaching her asked. “Eish, sorry, I was thinking out loud.” Thuli said. “So my friend, yesterday I saw you talking to Mtheza, how are things? What have you guys been up to?” Ntombi asked already seeming curious.
“Well it was nothing wethu, he was just saying hello. And wena Ntombi you should not say nasty things about Mr Vaphi, things like he loves me and what not. Mr Vaphi is not into that sort of thing. He is just a good teacher” Thuli said confidently to Ntombi. “Is that what he told you?” Ntombi asked in a sarcastic tone. “It does not matter what he said or did not say, actions speak louder than words.” Thuli said still confident. “Well I don’t know my friend. Either way treat him good sana, you be good to him and he will be good to you. Take it from me” Ntombi advised.
“Whatever wethu Ntombi” Thuli said. Ntombi was really getting on her nerves. “I wonder what happened with you, since Monday you haven’t been yourself. But I am sure you will be alright. Grumpy mood just does not suit you.” Ntombi said and Thuli giggled.
After school she sent an sms to Bonga “We can go together, I will call you later, there is something I need to tell you before we go”. It wasn’t Thuli’’s turn to cook and she was having a Maths test the following day anyway, so she fell in her books and even used some of the tutorials to study for the following day. A few minutes after 8pm she got a call from Bonga. Back then people were waiting for off peak time to make calls, that was from 8 pm till 5 am. The midnight shifts, 100% and free minutes were not yet invented.
Bonga: Hey, I hope I did not disturb you, how are you?
Thuli: No, you did not, actually I was about to call you. I am on a study break, I am doing some Maths here. Otherwise I am good. How about you?
Bonga: I am good too girl. I hope your journey went well on Sunday morning? Had so much on my mind I forgot to call you. I hope you forgive me.
Thuli: I went well Bonga, hahaha, don’t worry, I understand. Anyway I wanted to tell you something.
Bonga: aha what is it?
Thuli: I am okay to go with you, as long as you do not bring the… you know that thing up. I mean as long as we do not talk about that thing. Okay?
Bonga: Let me just assume I get what you mean. Don’t worry, you will start all the convos, hahahaha I know you got no problem with that. After all you are miss chatter box.
Thuli: Hahahahaha Bonga, I told you, you must stop calling me that
Bonga: hahahaha but it’s the truth…
They talked for a few more minutes and there wasn’t any tension between them. Thuli wondered if she had been pretending. She could not really understand how she was feeling about this whole back to normal thing. All she knew was that whatever was happening was not their fault and if they shared the same father then that was it. They could not change it. Life needed to move forward. She hoped Bonga felt the same way.
Thuli then went to sleep. The whole week she did not get anything from Mtheza, not that she was worried about that. As a matter of fact it suited her just fine.
On Friday after school she went on her way home, she called Bonga when she was in Kostad. He was there already waiting for her. Bonga looked admirable as usual, they had a cold hug and exchanged greetings. They went into a taxi to Mzimkhulu and sat there for a while in silence. After a few minutes Thuli broke the silence with some small talk (amaqam). After a few moments they were talking and it was less tense for the 2 of them, they both avoided eye contact though. Thuli kept thinking about the time she has drooling over Bonga and having a crush on him. What if he was not her brother? There was a slight chance. She knew she had promised herself not to talk about Thami with Bonga but when they got off at Mzimkhulu she could not take it any more.
“Let’s talk before going into the van Bonga, I want to know about your mother”. Thuli commanded. Bonga raised his eyes “iyhooo”. Thuli took a deep breath and with all the energy she could gather within herself she said “I mean it Bonga”. “Whow, you took me by a surprise, lets meet tomorrow” “Okay cool, I will go and do laundry for mam Lindi anyway tomorrow, meet you at the river.”
Episode 44
Thuli got home just when it was getting dark. She got off the van before Bonga. She got home and Ndudu was not home yet. Malumekazi was there and Sanele was home as well as it was weekend. Thuli’s little cousin sister (Sanele’s 2 year old daughter) was there as well.
Now let me explain something about the setting of bedrooms at gogo’s house. When gogo was still alive there was a hut used as kitchen, a four cornered room where Sanele and Ndudu’ father used to sleep. But later it was used by only Sanele after Ndudu’s father was dead. There was another small house that had 3 rooms. 2 of those were bedrooms and the other was used as a sitting room. When gogo was alive she was sleeping in one of those bedrooms and Nomsa was using the other.
So after Sanele got married he and Nomzi (his wife) were still using Sanele’s flat. Thuli had taken her mother’s bedroom and it was now hers. Ndudu was sleeping in gogo’s room. Neh? Ya anyway, let’s move on from there, just keep it in mind please, thanks.
Thuli got home and went into her room and put her bag and went to the kitchen. They knew she was coming so her food was prepared as well. It was all happy, even Ndudu who was now a 14 year old came back and greeted his sister. It was happy family indeed.
“So how is the search of your father going?” Nomzi asked out of the blue while everyone was there. “Nomzi what are you asking her? I am sure she is not searching for her father, are you mtshana?” Sanele asked. “Yes she is” Nomzi said before Thuli could answer. “And if you can find him I still think he should pay for all these years that he neglected you. How does he think it is like to grow up using your mother’s surname.” Nomzi blabbered. “Nomzi please stop it” Sanele said as he could see that the atmosphere was changing on Thuli’s face.
“I think I need to sleep, I am tired” Thuli said as she was standing up. “We are still talking here, don’t go, we have missed you. Tell us stories about your school. What is new?” Nomzi said. Thuli stood waiting for any response from anyone. “No if she is tired she must go to bed. Its okay, you can go mtshana”. Thuli did not wait for someone else to say anything she left and went to bed.
Up to that point Thuli still never understood her malumekazi’s intentions for always reminding her that she was not a Mjilo, there were many explanations
1. Nomzi could just be really feeling sorry for Thuli and really wishing she(Thuli) could find her dad.
2. Nomzi was just a blabber mouth who was suffering from verbal diarrheal and had no breaks or controls over what she was saying
3 . Nomzi could be feeling pressure because of the 2 children she already found in the family which she somehow she felt responsible for. The pressure could be eased if one of the kids who happened to be a bastard (Thuli) could find her dead and get out of their lives.
The more Thuli thought about these was the more she felt like the explanation was the 3rd one. Nomzi did not want her. Nomzi wanted Thuli to be gone. Thuli remembered how relieved she(Thuli) felt when she was going to live in Mt Ayllif alone atlast. Not having to hear Nomzi everytime. “So I am a burden. Nomzi did nothing to deserve me as a burden.” Thuli said to herself as she was tossing and turning in her bed. Finally she fell asleep.
The following day she woke up early and made breakfast for everyone. Nomzi woke up to and she helped so they did breakfast together. When she(Thuli) was done she announced that she had to go to mam Lindi to do her laundry, that was not a problem. She sent an sms to Vuyi (her old primary and Junior best best friend) and told her that she(Thuli) was going to see her (Vuyi) later. Then off she went to mam Lindi’s.
When she got there she greeted mam Lindi who offered her breakfast, but she said she had already eaten and that she(Thuli) was there to relieve mam Lindi from the laundry. “That is my Thuli. Thanks mntanam’ mam Lindi said. Thuli went to collect mam Lndi’s laundry and she did not call or sms Bonga to meet her by the river, she just thought maybe they will just meet there.
At the river there were already a lot of people doing washing. One side were the girls, and then there was a small group of guys on another side. Then there were old women on another side. Thuli greeted everyone while she was going to the girl’s side. She scanned the guys for a second and saw that Bonga was not there. She saw Bonga’s gogo amongst the women. She then knew that Bonga was not there. “You are not at the river, where are you?” she wrote the sms to Bonga but it did not go trough because there was no network.
She started doing the laundry while she was wondering why Bonga hadn’t said anything. But she soon forgot about that because the other girls were talking about different stuff and she soon joined in and as usual was soon the center of the conversation. When she was done doing the washing she went back to mam Lindi’s. The network was back on her phone and she saw an sms from Bonga that was sent about 2 hours back “I wil come by at mam Lindi, my granny decided to do my laundry. Just call me when you get back, your phone is not reachable”
Thuli called him and he came. Mam Lindi had no problem with Bonga because he always came there from since he was a kid. “You wanted to know about my mother” he said after they exchanged greetings. “yes, when I see my mother I want to ask if your mother was the… ill tell you. Just tell me about your mom and how she is connected to Thamsanqa Ntuli”
“My mom was a student nurse in 1989, she said to me she was dating this Thamsanqa Ntuli guy who happens to be my father. I don’t know what happened between 1989 and 91(the year I w as born). But whenever my mother was angry at me she would shout that she was never supposed to be pregnant with me and that it was a greatest mistake she ever did…”
Episode 45
Thuli swallowed a spit. She was expecting to hear something like that, even though she wished very much she could hear something else. Now the chances that Bonga was her brother had increased even more. Only her mother or Bonga’s mother could relieve them and they would know 100%. But what were the odds of two Thamis with the same name who were from Nteli and dated two girls from the same area in Mzimkhulu. There wasn’t any hope.
“Yhoo that’s horrible. I can’t believe a mother would say something like that to her own child.” Thuli said as she was feeling pity for Bonga. “No it is okay, I live with gogo now. She is cool with me. My life couldn’t be better.” Bonga said trying to set Thuli’s mind at ease as he could see that she was getting emotional. “Anyway that is all I know about Thamsanqa. I have never met him. I never really asked my mom detailed information about him and up to this far I have never been really interested in looking for him.”
“Yhoo Bonga, you do realise that we could have a same father?” Thuli asked. “I figured it on that day when you were telling me about him that day when you went to Nteli. I was actually relieved that you had refused to repeat that thing about me being your boyfriend. Was that what you were saying vele?” Bonga asked smiling. “Hahahaha it does not matter now. Let’s not go back there.” Thuli said shyly. “This is big news Bonga though. I also have been thinking about it a lot in the past week. But we are not sure. I am going to see my mother during Easter holidays. I will ask her about your mother. She might know something because she told me something about a girl from this area who was also dating this Thami guy.”
They chatted for a while then after midday Thuli went home and went past Vuyi. “hehehe, are you coming from your boyfriend once again?” Vuyi asked teasingly. “he is not my boyfriend.” Thuli said and they both laughed as that phrase had become a joke in the years as it was said repeatedly. Anyway the 2 girls were catching up. Vuyi told Thuli about her new boyfriend as well but explained that she was not having sex. “I have told him I am not ready and he is waiting. We go to the same high school but he lives in another area” Vuyi said. Thuli told her friend that she was still boyfrinedless and was not looking for any. Vuyi asked if Thuli ever looked for her dad as she that was her reason to go study at Nteli. Thuli said no; she was not willing to share the embarrassing story.
The weekend was over and once again Thuli left for school and on Monday their class teacher announced that after the Easter holidays there was going to be an award ceremony in PE and that one of the 2 students representing grade 10 must come from that class. The class teacher then asked the students to vote for whoever they thought deserved to go. Needless to say Thuli won the votes, having Ntombi who was respected because of her style and class campaigning for her. Besides Thuli was clever and most people in the class liked listening to her. “Congrats my friend. You deserve it, now bring us some information there, we want a report back”
The day went on as usual and later that day Thuli got a call from Mtheza. It was rare for him to call her in the evening, but she did not thinking much about that.
Mtheza: I heard that you had been chosen to go to PE, that is great. Well done.
Thuli: Thanks sir
Mtheza: I am sure you need to call home and tell them the good news?
Thuli: I was going to tell them during Easter holidays anyway.
Mtheza: No this is great news, you must tell them straight away. I am going to forward you airtime. Make sure you call home.
And indeed he sent her airtime and Thuli wasn’t that excited about going to PE, she was going to tell Sanele and Nomsa whenever she felt like it. Not that Mtheza needed to know that.
Bonga and Thuli were in speaking terms once again. They never mentioned the Thami thing again but they remained friends and Thuli’s crush had been turned off shame. So life went on and it was Easter break. Thuli went to Mzimkhulu and got enough money to go to Mthatha and then she went to visit her mother in Mthatha. She was planning to ask her mother about Thami and Bonga’s mother as soon as possible because she never spent more than 3 days with her mom without the 2 of them fighting.
They had been fighting because even though Nomsa had stopped asking Thuli to go live in Mthatha she always brought it up that Thuli should be with her mother and Thuli would tell her mom that she(Thuli) wanted to be with her family. However this was the first time for Thuli going to see her mother after she (Thuli) had started high school. She wondered if they would fight then even thought Thuli was no longer living at gogo’s.
Thuli had never ever felt home at her mother’s house in Mthatha. She always felt like a visitor. She was still not getting along with the girl twin. But fortunately the twins were studying in CPT and were not back on that holiday.
First chance she got Thuli asked Nomsa about Thami and the lady from Mvubukazi whom she (Nomsa) said was suspected to also had been pregnant with Thami’s child.
“Why are you asking? Did yo go out lookin for Thami? Thuli you can not do that by yourself, it’s not safe for you to do that.” Nomsa said worriedly. “No sisi, I did not. Please just tell me what you know.”
Episode 46
“Okay Thuli, I will tell you the whole story” Thuli listened attentively.
“I was studying at Umzimkhulu teachers training college. Thami was working at the post office. The year was 1989 and I was 19 doing my first year. Thami came with his money and was flashing it around and promising me the world and I believed him. Things happened and I got pregnant with you. While I was pregnant but before I told him about the pregnancy, that girl whom you are asking about confronted me. I think she was working at the hospital. She told me that Thami was her man and that I should stay away from him”.
I asked Thami about the lady and he lied to me and said she was just an ex. I then told him I was pregnant and that was it. He started calling me names” Nomsa paused. Thuli could tell that the story was not easy for her mother. But she(Thuli) had waited for so long, she might as well just hear the whole story. “He told me in my face that he was not going to admit my pregnancy even to his parents. I was sure he was the father, he was my only boyfriend at the time.”
I did not tell my parents that I was pregnant but my mother saw me and asked. I told her the truth and that Thami was the father. My family then went there, you know that story. After that that lady who worked at the hospital came to me again while I was pregnant and attempted to fight me, also calling me names. She said I thought I would be able to keep her man by getting pregnant, and that I was stupid etc. A few months after that just before I gave birth I heard that she was pregnant too and Thami was the father.
Around that time I went to town and I saw Thami, he came to me and said I should stop going around telling people that I am pregnant with his child. He also bragged to me that he was expecting his real baby from his real girlfriend, who turned out to be the girl in question. But from what I hear the girls was also ditched along the pregnancy. But I never followed up the story. All in all Thulisile I would never have gotten in a relationship with Thami if I knew he had a girlfriend, let alone get pregnant. But things happen and at least my mother was y my side and very understanding, even though I had disappointed her.”
Thuli took a deep breath. She was now 98% sure that the lady was Bonga’s mother. She indeed shared a father with Bonga. It hurt to know that her coming to this world was a disappointment and an inconvenience to people around. This whole news was very hard for her to swallow. The person bad person in the story was her biological father. She wondered what the matter with him was. Was he losing his mind or what? Thuli looked at her mother and realised that Nomsa was in deep thoughts, Thuli imagined how hard it must have been to retell that entire story. “Sisi how old was Thami?” “He was 21 and had been lucky to get a job right after he finished matric. He had money and he was the last born in his family. All his siblings were already working. Up to this day nontombi I still do not understand why he ditched me or the other ladies.”
Thuli prayed and hoped that she never gets to be like that. She wished to not inherit anything from her father. That brought her to another question “sisi is there anything I have that is similar to Thami that I may have inherited?”. Nomsa laughed softly, “oh yes nontombi, that guy can talk yoh! None stop, with no comma or full stop. Wherever he is everyone listens to him. He is always having stories, some true but most are made up, just like you.” Thuli finally understood why she was the only chatterbox in her family. She hoped that was the only thing she inherited from the guy. “He was also a top class student, but as you know I was not so bad myself. So wena girlie you have been lucky, both your parents were very gifted academically”
Thuli learned a lot from her mother that day about Thami, and that he was the one who had a gigantic body and looked older than his actual age. So Bonga and Thuli definitely inherited brains and the big body from their father, Thuli thought. She hated Thami even more at that time. She remembered what Sanele said when she(Thuli) was a young girl. Sanele said Nomsa had been a good girl until after Thami. Thami was the course of her mother’s behaviour! “I don’t want him as a father” Thuli said as she could feel herself getting angry. “Why nontombi? He was young and stupid back then.” Nomsa said.
“But sisi has he done anything to show regret? A child is not like luggage that you have forgotten at a bus station that you can just disregard if getting it is too complicated. You can not just disregard a child. It has been 16 years now. If he has grown up in anyway he should do something. Doesn’t he know that better late than never? I think he really does not care and he is still the same dog that he has been 16 years ago! I wish he could die a slow painful death!!” Thuli said as she was fuming with anger and she did not even wait for her mother to reply, she just stood up and went to the bedroom!!
Episode 47
Thuli closed the door angrily behind her as she threw herself on the bed. It was horrible. Somehow she knew that this Thami guy was bad news, but hearing firlst hand of the stuff he did was unbearable. This was a situation she could do nothing about. But she still could not help getting angry and wishing him dead. Had Thami been a more responsible person Thuli’s life would have turned out so much better. I mean how you just forget about your own flesh and blood. Your own baby who had been produced by your own sperm. And from what Thuli had gathered up to that far Nomsa did nothing to Thami to deserve the way he treated her(Nomsa). He deserved to die and Thuli hated him so much at that time.
“Thuli” Nomsa said as she was knocking outside the bedroom Thuli was in. “I am coming in” Nomsa said as she pushed the door open. She found Thuli lying on the bed facing down and breathing heavily. “Nontombi, it is alright. I understand how you feel too” Nomsa said as she pushed Thuli gently. Thuli looked up, her forehead was read, and so was her nose. Her eyes were also red as if she had been crying. But she was not crying, she was just really angry.
“But sisi what did I do to deserve him deserting me like this? Doesn’t he feel any guilt at all that I am out here without him? How heartless is he?” Thuli said as she started to feel tears coming out of her eyes. Yeap that was her life, all about tears. It was almost like she was brought to the world so that she should cry, thinking like that brought even more tears to her eyes. “I know sisi” Nomsa said softly. “But there is nothing we can do at this point. I can help you look for him but to be honest I also have no idea where to begin. My parents said they would take you as their child and that I never should worry about Thami because they predicted that going after him would cause me more heartache.” Nomsa said.
“But sisi your parents are gone, malume is married and you are also married. Who do I have now?” Thuli asked her mother. “You have me nontombi” Nomsa said. Thuli chose to not answer that because she knew that her mother just did not get it. After a few gentle talk and consoling each other Nomsa left Thuli to fall asleep as it was already late, mr Langa was working late that night.
The following day things were more calm and Thuli was once again talking to her mother about other things. It was the third day she had been there. “Is the money I send you every month enough for your school needs?” Nomsa asked. “Yes sisi, thank so much.” Thuli replied.
Nomsa: You should open a bank account now so I won’t have to put it on Sanele’s bank account
Thuli: yes I was planning to open one this Easter, it would be better, I would not have to go home every month.
Nomsa: And that would be good. You have no idea how I feel when I send you money but I do not get to see you. Other people see you though
Thuli: *giggles*
Thuli knew that if she responded with her honest response they would end up fighting once again as usual, so she chose to keep quite. (…needless to say she did open a bank account)
The visit was over and Thuli went back to Mzimkhulu. She stayed at her home for one day then it was time to go back to school. She was relieved that the holiday was short. Staying at her home had become uncomfortable, especially since she started planting ideas in her head about Nomzi not wanting her. Nomzi had never said that and Nomzi had always been treating her good just like she was to Ndudu. But the stuff she would say about Thuli’s father and mother sent a different message to Thuli.
Thuli only called Bonga on Monday after the schools were opened and requested that they should go to Kokstad just for fun that weekend. Bonga was up for that and when they got there they went into Nandos and Thuli told Bonga that they were definitely siblings. Thuli told some parts of the story to Bonga and he pitied her. “Are you still going to look for the guy though Thuli?” Bonga asked. “No i want nothing to do with that guy. I hate him mfo, he ruined my life. I wish him dead”
“You know it is not good to wish people dead Thuli. I also do not like him even though I don’t know him, but I do not wish him dead.” Bonga said. Thuli said they should then agree to disagree. At some point though they both agreed that they were curious to see him and just see what kind of a person he turned out to be.
Town time was over and Thuli went back to her room. It was on Saturday and the following week on Thursday was the day they were to depart to PE. That week she had been receiving a lot of good night and good morning sms’s from Mtheza, some would just be cute messages about angels and that Thuli was an angel. She was flattered by these messages and still thought Mtheza was just a teacher and maybe he just wanted to be friends.
Time to depart to PE came. The Mt Ayllif district had its own buses with Mtheza being the one who had organised everything. Two teachers and 6 students from each school. They all left late Thursday so they got to PE the following morning. The ceremony was on Friday. They were all fresh and ready. The event took the whole day and they were supposed to go back to Nteli on that same day…
Now that the event was over and they were going back home people in the buses were sitting casually and some people even changed buses to suit their specific villages. As Mtheza was busy preparing for the departure he told Thuli that she must save a seat for him. The girl who had been sitting with Thuli when they were coming was in another bus, Mtheza knew that. So Thuli had no excuse, besides she did not see anything wrong with sitting with sir.
Episode 48
Thuli then made sure the seat was empty for Mtheza to come share with her. After a while Mtheza was done with the departure preparations and all the busses were leaving. He got in the bus where Thuli was. Thuli was sitting a few seats away from the front seats where most of the female teachers were sitting. Most older male students and male teachers were sitting on the back seat and a few of other girls. They were all drinking alcohol. This was no surprise as everyone seemed to take it as a norm to share alcohol with teachers in high school.
Mtheza went past Thuli’s seat and just waved at her and said “I will be with you in a minute” then he went to the back seat and when he got there he told them that the bus driver was complaining about the noise they were making. One teacher responded saying “Get out of here Mtheza, we all know there is no such thing… (Continued to speak in a lower voice, then all those that were there burst in laughter)” Thuli wondered what they were laughing at. But she did not let it bother her. “Well don’t say I did not tell you” Vaphi told them as he left to sit with Thuli.
“So how was the event? I hope you grabbed as much information as possible. I am sure you can not wait to tell your friends back at school” Vaphi said after they had greeted. Thuli had grown to be freer with Mtheza even if it was just the 2 of them. She had grown to like him because he forever had good advices and had never shown anything funny. She thought of him as the father she had never had. “It was really wonderful, made me think of what I would like to study after matric. A lot of things are so clear now”
“I am glad you learned something. I am thinking of organising more career exhibitions for our district. Children choose wrong courses due to lack of information” Vaphi said as he looked impressed. “That would be great sir. It would help a lot. I don’t think they talked about a lot of courses in that event, and so if we could have a career exhibition that would just deal with that I am sure a lot of students would learn.” Thuli said
“You are a really smart girl Thuli, it would be really bad if a smart lady like you could choose a wrong career, I will definitely do something.” Mtheza said. Thuli smiled and looked down. They continued talking about other things, and no, Mtheza did not even once mention anything about a romantic relationship between him and Thuli. Instead when Thuli fell asleep he let her rest her head on his shoulder. Thuli really wished he had a dad that would share this kind of information with her. At that moment Thuli just forced her brain to think Mtheza as a father figure.
The journey was over and Thuli got back to her room. For a few weeks that followed she did not bother herself thinking about her father or her family, not even her messed up life. She had Bonga who was her brother and they were in contact and talking about other things, she had Mtheza who was forever nice to her and giving her airtime and sometimes sending her packages at school and he was not showing anything funny. Thuli also had Ntombi her friend, who was not so annoying anymore as now Thuli was able to speak comfortable about Mtheza and Ntombi stopped trying to force Thuli to admit that she was in a romantic relationship. Lastly Thuli did not have to worry about hurting anyone by going home every month end. She was just her lone self in Mt Ayllif, not having to bother anyone in the comfort of their homes. Life was good according to her. She was also excelling in her studies because she had told herself that she needed to make a better life for herself.
Months went by and before she knew it, it was before the end of May. “We must go to a party at bro Vusi’s house.” Ntombi said to Thuli one day, Thuli was up for that. She had been used to go and eat out sometimes with Mtheza, not much, just once in a while maybe. He would call her on his payday and ask her to help him buy groceries or whatever. Thuli neve had a problem with that. Mtheza would sometimes throw a few clothes for Thuli during those times. And he would call her and wish her luck whenever he knew she had a test, he was really like a father to her.
“Sure, no problem, isn’t bro Vusi living with his wife?” Thuli asked concerned. No she is overseas, she is a nurse, and she comes back only in December” Ntombi said calmly. So anyway just a week before the mid year exams the girls went to the party, bro Vusi came to fetch them and of cause Mtheza was there. This was the first time Thuli had been in a party environment with Mtheza
Episode 49
The girls arrived at the party, it was on a Saturday around 2pm. When they got there Ntombi seemed to know the house very well and bro Vusi just instructed her where the drinks were. They were inside a big metal bath lol (lost in translation once again. And just out of curiosity what do you call those big metal “bhavu’s” in English, please help in the comments.) there was a selection of drink, ciders and beers. What are you going to drink? I am going with Smirnoff Spin” Ntombi said as she looked like she knew exactly what she was talking about. Thuli on the other hand had never even tasted alcohol in her life. She just had a blank look on her face and shrugged with one shoulder.
“Oh I forgot, you still a little girl, and you do not drink, well my friend you gona have to try to fit in. Try Sminorf Spin, I promise you it tastes great, just like Sprite.” Ntombi said while handing her a cider. “Nah, let me just have juice for now. I will see later” Thuli said. Ntombi did not try to push her she handed her a glass and showed her where the 100% fruit juice was.
It was some party, filled with older people, Thuli recognised some as teachers, males and females. None of the teachers were from their school though. There were a few other younger people who were seemingly from around that area. Thuli and Ntombi went and joined the group of young people. Everyone had a beer or a cider in their hand, only Thuli was on juice. They all teased her, but she said she did not mind even though it bothered her. She heard a small voice saying within her “Yes drinking might be bad, but who do you have to impress?” I am not doing that, I am young. She thought to herself. The party was going on.
After some minutes Mtheza came to them holding a glass with whiskey, he looked drunk but not too drunk. “What are you having angel” she asked looking at Thuli’s glass. “Is that juice or are you also doing strong stuff? You should not drink that, you are young for the hot stuff.” Thuli could tell that Mtheza was being drunk, but she was relieved that at least one person was saying a bad thing about alcohol. “You should do ciders like your friends here, now that is not so bad” Mtheza said to Thuli’s disappointment. She wondered if her own father would encourage her to drink. “I am drinking juice” she said.
“Oh that is good for you angel, good good; alcohol is for old people. Come here, I need to talk to you about something; Ntombi you do not mind if I steal your friend just for a minute?” “No problem Mtheza” Ntombi said loudly. Thuli had to follow Mtheza s they went inside the house into the sitting room. They sat on a couch. “Have I told you how beautiful you are?” Mtheza said. Thuli just looked down shyly. “Well if I haven’t I am telling you now, you have a face of an angel” he said while touching her face. Thuli was not sure how to react to that. Naturally she slid her face a bit away from Mtheza.
“Relax my angel, why do you run away? This is me Mtheza, I am not going to hurt you.” he said. “I know sir, I would prefer if you did not touch my face” Thuli said trying to make a strong voice. “Ah ah ah, angel, you need to start calling me Mtheza, you going to make me look like a bully if you keep calling me sir. Relax” Thuli was very far from being relaxed. Mtheza was nothing like he had been all the time she had known him. She assumed that maybe it was alcohol that was making him act out of character. While she was thinking that Mtheza touched her on her thigh “no sir” she said while she moved his hand away and stood up. “What is the matter? Why do you look so scared? Come here” Mtheza said while pulling her down with her arm.
Thuli resisted the pull and then Mtheza change his expression completely and he looked angry. “What’s your problem young lady? Do you ever resist when I buy you clothes and take you out to fancy restaurants. Come here I say” he said while pulling her even harder and so Thuli tried to pull her arm away then Mtheza stayed up right on the couch and got hold of her other arm and pulled her so she was standing right in front of him, in between his legs. While she was standing there with both her arms held she was imagining the worst, Mtheza had a look on his face that she has never ever seen before, his eyes were red and he looked like a hungry beast.
“You think you are clever ye? Come here” he said while pulling and turning her so she was sitting on his lap and he held her tight so she could not move. “So you like all the things I do for you but now you are treating me like a devil? You are running away from me like I am some sort of an animal, YE!!?” he said while he was touching her gentle on the face with the back of his palm. “No sir” Thuli said, now in tears. “How do you like the things I do for you but do not like me?” he said. “I want to go home”.Thuli said. “Uphambene (you have lost your mind)”
Episode 50
Thuli started crying, tears were pouring helplessly as she was still on his lap. “Why are yo crying? I am not a monster, Thuli this is me, Mtheza. Why are you crying?” Mtheza said while loosening his arms around her but not completely letting her go. “You are hurting me sir” Thuli said in a crying voice. “You are just being childish, acting innocent, you know you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you. So drop the act” Thuli was not saying anything, just crying.
“Eh Mtheza? Where did you disappear to?” A loud voice from out side coming toward the sitting room called. Mtheza kept quite for a bit and listened attentively. “Mtheza?” the voice continued now really close to the door. Mtheza quickly pushed Thuli to the side so she was on the couch and he stood up. “Sure Mxo, whats up?” He said while going out the door. Thuli stood up and went outside, went past Mtheza and the guy and went to Ntombi. “Ntombi , Ntombi, I want to go right now. I don’t want to be here anymore, please let us go. I want to go.” “Hold up, hold up” Ntombi said sounding drunk. “What’s your problem? The party is just starting? Why do you want to go?”
Thuli reliased that Ntombi was too drunk to reason. Ntombi was used to these parties anyway. “Bye Ntombi” Thuli said as she knew she had some money with her. The time was still around four and if she was patient she could still get a taxi, or even a truck. She left. Luckily no one saw her leaving as everyone was busy parting. When she got to the stop she waited for about 10 minutes and a taxi came and she was gone. She thanked her ancestors for that money she had. It was just in her pocket for no particular reason.
Along the way she was unable to think about anything, her mind stood still. She just wanted to get to her room. She got there and realised that roomza could be in the other room with the other girls. She threw herself on the bed and started screaming! Everything was coming back to her now, how she was scared, how Mtheza was so scary and looked dangerous, how she could have been raped. How she could not believe all of those things because she had been thinking of Mtheza as a father figure. How could he.
“Ntombi was right, I wonder what did Mtheza see in me to think I am that kind of girl? How was I to know that I am supposed to pay all those things?” she was thinking. She cried so hard that she did not know at what time she fell asleep.
The following day was Sunday, Thuli was still feeling really bad when she woke up. She was not hungry and she did not think she would be. She was just thinking about how clear it was that nothing in her life seemed to go well. “Like I could have a father, my own father ditched and forgot about me as. To him I am as good as a used condom that has been flushed down the toilet. Flushed away from him and not to bother him ever. Why would I think anyone would want to take his place? Clearly I am cursed. That is what it is.” She started thinking that all men were cruel heartless dog. There wasn’t even one man that could make her happy. Sanele and Ndud? Who knows what they would do when her(Thuli) curse gets to them?
Thuli hadn’t been going home since Easters and not even one of them (Sanele and Ndudu) called to say they missed her and that she should come back. They would only call to say hi. Clearly she was an inconvenience to them too as much as she was to everybody else. They did not want her back home and were doing so much better without her. What mattered? Nothing. Who does she have? No one! Ntombi had been a good friend but look at where she led her too. Ntombi had been doing better in her studies because Thuli always encouraged her to study. Besides that Ntombi was a terrible frined. Ntombi knew that Mtheza would want a romantic relationship with Thuli. What kind of a good friend leads a friend to dating sugar daddies or fatherfriends (as Thuli liked to think).
Thuli was convinced that the world hated her. She had no one in this whole entire world. Even Bonga could just be doing her a favour by being friends with her, just because he could see that she was all by herself. Sooner or later Thuli’s curse would get to Bonga as well and just like everyone else he would hurt her too. She felt like nothing but just a target for getting hurt… There was nothing that was valuable as far as living in this world was concerned. Even Nomsa could have other children that she could love since she (Nomsa) had always shown that Thuli had caused her(Nomsa) troubles in her life. Thuli was nothing in this world, she was just a bustard who was hated by everyone. No family or real friends. There was definitely nothing to live for :’(
End of Chapter 5,